People change
Probably while reading these lines, you are thinking of someone, but wouldn’t that someone think the same about you, if they were to read this?
The last couple of years , have been like going to the school of life for me (we are all in it, but it truly felt like that for me since 2020) — All those lessons on moving on, on recognizing my truest self, all that growing, came from pain or shame, so going through it wasn’t always a “piece of cake”.
One of the biggest lessons for me, has been “people change, people leave” — and even though it sounds a bit depressing or bitter… I’m acknowledging it as a truth , one that I didn’t want to see but have finally accepted (I think).
People change, and sometimes that hurts — too much — It’s out of our control, there’s nothing left to do. The changes don’t always align with who we are, or what we need, and they’re too in our faces for us to ignore them, we can’t. Probably while reading these lines, you are thinking of someone, but wouldn’t that someone think the same about you, if they were to read this? — Don’t we also change?
My “changing” was so noticeable, that I could easily mark it on a calendar — “there, from that day my eyes saw everything differently” — and yet, even though I knew what I was going through, when things started to feel different in my group of friends, I felt bad. I wanted everything to stay the same, as if life is somehow static, as if others don’t change too.
Maybe it was all too much — my changes, and theirs — so I needed some things to not move, because I felt like I was losing balance, like I didn’t know myself or them anymore. I know, I know, it sounds dramatic and a bit mentally chaotic, but sometimes these types of human experiences can feel that way.
My point is, changing is inevitable; we all go through it. Some changes come to us after hard work, after wanting and seeking for them — those changes are rewards. However, most changes come through us, as if we had the seed within us very deeply, and with time that seed grew bigger than us. So big that it breaks us, transforms us — an unwanted change, that makes us beautiful depending on who is seeing it— changes that sooner or later, we learn to accept, and hopefully — if we are lucky enough to understand the invisible reasons behind things — we come to feel thankful for.
With all that in mind, let’s embrace people changing, even when it hurts, even when they are no longer who we needed them to be — even when it sucks — let’s just hope we can still be able to hug them while they do, and if that’s not the case, let us simply wish them well.
From a forever changing & growing friend,
Nicole <3